i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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