Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
