he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i drank out of a bidet.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
