she peed on how many people?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
