You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
