So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
