Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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