things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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