Betty ford says i'm here all night
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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