he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
