is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
