I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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