i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
