Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
