ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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