theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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