he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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