It's Friday. Sex?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
