Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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