i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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