Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize