Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
