So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
