did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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