I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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