I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So many bounce houses so little time
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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