Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
