I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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