just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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