i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
