i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
