I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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