dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
