Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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