You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
