We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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