There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
