He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
