im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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