hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
