My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
