Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
