walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
