:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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