Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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