dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
