he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
