i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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