***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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