I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize