i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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