so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
