Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
