i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
