ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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