wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
