Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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