Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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