Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize