Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
