Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
