Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
