you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
