im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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