she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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